The season of endings and beginnings is upon us and if you are like most people, you are most likely feeling contemplative. With this, you may be tempted to start to draw up a plan to make ‘next year different.’ Perhaps you have given up on ‘resolutions’ as you know how statistically poor their ROI is, but there may still be a part of you that wants to start fresh in a way, to get things going in a different direction so that you can really move through some of the things that challenge you this year.
If this is you, I have a few reframes that you can use to help support you in making true, lasting changes to your life this coming year – that won’t fizzle out by the end of February when all the motivation from the season is gone and you are back to ‘normal’ life.
Instead Of Planning A New Diet/Health Regiment – Get yourself a journal and commit to exploring your FEELINGS this year. Every time you want to eat something that you know doesn’t serve your health, you want to starve, you want to blame your body or food for how you are feeling – go to your journal and explore your emotional state. Are you sad? Angry? Frustrated? Disempowered? You don’t even have to ‘do’ anything with these emotions, just be open to exploring and naming them. This will lead to dramatic shifts in your relationship with food and your body if done with commitment. So much of the time we reach for food or diets as a way of avoiding our feelings. When we simply show up and face them, life takes on a whole new meaning.
Instead Of Committing To Cutting Up Your Credit Cards – Get committed to the practice of exploring your DESIRES. What do you want deep down? When you go for the new hand bag you can’t afford or the fancy dinner you really didn’t even enjoy – what were you looking for? Journal about what may be going on for you under the surface with regards to what you actually want in life. Could it be that you have desires you simply don’t know how to meet? Or you feel you are not allowed to have? Give yourself the time to figure out what you want, and learn to be brave enough to admit these things to yourself.
Instead Of Vowing To Quit Your Job – Make time for explorations of your HOBBIES this year. Let go of how you are going to turn ‘doing what you love’ into a ‘job’ and let yourself try things. Even if your job is excruciating and you feel like you MUST find a way out RIGHT NOW – allowing yourself to do things you really enjoy just for the sake of enjoyment outside of work (rather than just numbing out in front of the T.V or desperately searching for a new role) will feel a million times better. Connecting with your creative side will MASSIVELY increase your chances of eventually finding a career that you both love and can support you. You must start somewhere. Develop some hobbies and see where they lead you.
Instead Of Overhauling Your Relationships – Lastly, rather than vowing to make any sweeping changes to your relationship status (unless there is a true abuse or a true ‘this is not going anywhere’ situations arising) instead, take a step back in ALL of your relationships and allow the hurt, drama, fights, anger, pain, sadness and unmet expectation to drive you deeper into self exploration. Where are you not communicating clearly? Where are you using manipulation to try to get what you want rather than asking maturly? Where are you being triggered and acting from your woundings? Where are you not understanding? How are you causing the drama? Use this new year as a reason to start taking responsibility for yourself within your relationships, and see if this helps you make sense of where things really need to change in the ‘other’ and where things just need to change with you. Relationships are never one sided and learning to own our part really changes the whole game.
This year can be one of self love. Acknowledgement of feelings, desires, hidden passions and your personal responsibility are all massive acts of growing up and maturation. This is what leads to a new life where things feel better. You are worthy of what you feel and want, and you are worthy of knowing you have power in your life.
Happy New Year my friends. May this year be the most self loving yet.
Ali Washington is a Spiritual Guide, Life Coach, Reiki Master, Holistic Nutritionist and Yoga Teacher who is here to support light workers in finding their truth and living from that place.