Finding Harmony in Your Life


It is important to find balance in our lives, balance our mind, balance our emotions, and balance our work and play. But what does that really mean? Is it even accurate? Our society so often preaches balance but it can be very misleading. What may seem like a good idea to balance in 3-dimensions, can actually be imbalance in 4-dimensions or more. That is a fancy way of saying, what might seem good now, can become a bigger problem later.


If we were paddling on a river in a canoe, and we believed in balance, we would paddle at an even speed, with even effort on each side of the boat in the middle of the river. But what happens if one side of the river begins to have a stronger current? We would need to change to variable paddling, or go to one side of the river. If we did that, we would not be using balance as most people see it. We would be be taking into account the flow of the river instead. With that analogy paying attention to the flow seems like the more beneficial strategy. But what does that look like in regular life?


We so often try to fix sickness, rush through traffic, and work more when exhausted. We try to force things to be how we want them to be. Maybe if we are sick, it is simply a good time to relax more. Or maybe traffic could be a hint that we are going too fast and it is time to slow down or we could just take a different route.


Forcing things, is a masculine energetic. It is pushing, physical, and building. We live in a patrilineal society, so it is common for people to predominantly use masculine tendencies. To play with flow we will need to also get accustomed to using feminine energetics. Female is more yielding, and receiving. Using both male and female simply gives more options, and allows for more synergy in life. There is an important question to ask yourself first though. What do you think yielding (female) would look like when we are so accustomed to forcing (male)? It could look a lot like relaxing, and accepting, but it could also look like surrender, giving up, or failure. This may be hard for some to accept or understand. But beginning to use female energetics, will increase your adaptability, and functionality in life.


Think about a world where you could only walk forwards and make right turns. How much simpler it would be if you could also walk backwards and make left turns? That is tantamount to the transition from only using masculine energetics, to using both masculine and feminine. Similarly, paying attention to flow would be like knowing when to choose what direction to walk, instead of closing off your senses and running into walls.


Watch out for a few common problems when experimenting with feminine energetics. Many often try to force the feminine without realizing it, which is still primarily masculine. We hear of people pushing for peace in our world, or pushing for acceptance. These are examples of people using masculine energetics (pushing) in an attempt to promote female energetics (acceptance). While they may not realize it, that is probably not the most useful way to reach their goal. Just like it is rarely useful to punch someone in the face in an attempt to get them to like you.


Learning about flow is an exploration for each individual to play with. There is no technique that is an ultimate truth. They are all just training wheels to get a person to start sensing patterns, until they can eventually transcend the techniques and simply flow with the underlying energy. Just like learning to ride a bike, training wheels give us an idea of riding, but are never truly riding a bike. At some point we need to ride without them. This process may end up with silly results on occasion. That means, this is not a learning process that is always conducive to how our society functions. But when an opportunity is present, why not experiment with flow?


To end this article, here are some simple questions you can use as tools: what do I really want right now on a base level? How many different ways can I accomplish that? What has been going on around me lately, does it line up with what I want to do? How can I adapt to the current trends to enjoy life more? Is what I am doing more symbolically male or female? What happens if I try this in a style more of the other gender?


Happy flow learning to you all!


Matt has studied wellness for much of his life and currently works to assist people with their health through bodywork therapies. He also enjoys training in traditions such as yoga and martial arts. 
Instagram: @mattg800/

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