I still remember the time when I hated myself, the time when I hated how I look so much that it turned into an obsession. I started an intense food restriction diet during my first year in college; I ate only half a serve of salad a day (yes, not even one serve!). And this terrible diet lasted almost a year.
A doctor didn’t officially diagnose me, but I knew I was depressed. I woke up every morning criticising the girl I saw in the mirror. The numbers on the scales never seems small enough. Yes, I did fit in the smaller size down for jeans and clothes, but I wasn’t happy at all. I was confused, wondering how can people keep telling me that I’ve become prettier when I feel so miserable inside? Does beauty really comes with so much pain?
It wasn’t until one day when I literally fainted in a shopping mall that I realised how much my obsession was damaging me; both physically and mentally. It was evident, I traded my health for being skinny. And you know what; it is not worth it. After fainting and having the realisation of what I was doing to myself, it honestly was an amazing wake up call. From the mall I went straight back home and began researching any and all information I could find about healthy eating habits. Learning to eat the right, nourishing foods. Knowing something is one thing, but actually doing something about it, is another. I would say all in all, it took me a few years to actually overcome the guilt of eating anything but raw vegetables but my progress was evident.
In addition to eating healthier, I also tried to become more physically active. I still remember the time when I felt so good after my very first proper cardio session. I started reading articles about people who suffered a similar issue to me, and how they gained confidence without extreme methods. I even learned some home cooking skills, what a major plus! Most importantly, my family was there to support me; the unconditional love was something I’ll always be thankful of.
I learned the beauty of a healthier lifestyle.
Today my confidence is not based on compliments from others, or the size of my clothes, but the love I have for myself. I have the courage to accept who I truly am. I know I’m beautiful. The strength in that is something that can never be taken away.
Tiffany; a master student, a free spirit, breakfast lover, mostly vegetarian, jewellery addict, and really new yogi. Obsessed with healthy living and reading magazines.